You've been with me through it all. And often I have foolishly followed you. But you are deceitful (Jer 17:9) while disguised in "wisdom" and "the right thing". The enemy knows what hurts you, where your strings are that when pulled make me ache so much I don't feel like I can stand. The worse part is he knows what makes you lead me to question the One I actually follow.
The world advertises that I should follow you, that you are true. But the Word of Truth says whoever trusts you is a fool (Prov 28:26).
When my children are sick and I question medical care or have had a bad day solely because of cultural differences you ache. You whisper in my ear the promises of an "easier" life for them on the other side of the Atlantic. The enemy whispers to you the same lie he told in the garden, "Did the Father really say...."
When I am up feeding my baby at 2am and there is literally no where in our house to go that is comfortable to sit you remind me of the comfy glider that waits for me tucked in a basement.
When she is crying and crying and there is no where in our house to go that won't disturb the others sleeping you flash pictures of the beautiful home we built in the suburbs that provided such space.
When I spend 30 minutes preparing the lettuce to eat so that we won't be sick you long for the pre-package, pre-washed, pre cut up pieces that I can dump into a bowl and eat.
The things of this world make you long for the easier and more comfortable way. But the gate is narrow and the road is difficult that leads to life (Matthew 7:14).
I want life. I want to be obedient. I want my children to see our life as following the Father by doing what the Word commands not what you, oh heart, long for.
So dear heart, you will not find what you are aching for unless you long for what the Father desires. My treasure will not be in the things of the world but in the things to come.
Luke 12:34 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."